and in the end, ashes
Marie Rodriguez
Marie Rodriguez
There’s so much ash falling from my hands.
It’s like gentle snow fluttering
to the ground below awaiting
the eager hands of absent children,
ghosts of an unretrievable past
I can’t seem to stop igniting fires
with all this combustible material
that lingers in the corner of my eyes
lines my muscles and makes a home
in my chest cavity, pulsing like a heartbeat
staining my skin with sooty residue
all the unspoken suddenly made tangible
systematic ritual yet another pretender
claimed by this impossible performance
kindling an unending reserve in this
smoldering body, survivor of countless
unrealized dreams and unraveling realities
When I open my mouth a
steady stream of smoke curls
from between my lips
evaporated confessions never
to witness the light of day
the smell fills my nostrils
makes a cloud in my lungs,
open flames lapping at blistered skin,
what am I, but a sacrifice for the world?
There is no space for breath here
just a longing for the release of rain
to wash away all these ashes, falling from everywhere.
It’s like gentle snow fluttering
to the ground below awaiting
the eager hands of absent children,
ghosts of an unretrievable past
I can’t seem to stop igniting fires
with all this combustible material
that lingers in the corner of my eyes
lines my muscles and makes a home
in my chest cavity, pulsing like a heartbeat
staining my skin with sooty residue
all the unspoken suddenly made tangible
systematic ritual yet another pretender
claimed by this impossible performance
kindling an unending reserve in this
smoldering body, survivor of countless
unrealized dreams and unraveling realities
When I open my mouth a
steady stream of smoke curls
from between my lips
evaporated confessions never
to witness the light of day
the smell fills my nostrils
makes a cloud in my lungs,
open flames lapping at blistered skin,
what am I, but a sacrifice for the world?
There is no space for breath here
just a longing for the release of rain
to wash away all these ashes, falling from everywhere.
//
Marie Rodriguez is a third year undergraduate student at the University of California Santa Cruz. She studies literature with a focus on creative writing and a minor in Latin American & Latino Studies. They enjoy watching and over-analyzing cartoons, spending way too much money on Etsy, and dearly misses her friends. She hopes to work in the publishing industry upon graduation.
Marie Rodriguez is a third year undergraduate student at the University of California Santa Cruz. She studies literature with a focus on creative writing and a minor in Latin American & Latino Studies. They enjoy watching and over-analyzing cartoons, spending way too much money on Etsy, and dearly misses her friends. She hopes to work in the publishing industry upon graduation.