My grief hands me the kindness my father never showed me
Lizbeth D'Souza
Lizbeth D'Souza
I've never learned to let go of
my grief
I let it spread like a wildfire
Across my body
Until every part of me burns away
And even the callousness of my mother's soft
hands
Would be enough to kill me
How did I become this
A girl so consumed in herself
She allowed
me the kindness
To burn in the fire
She made
To keep me warm
My father
never spoke about grief
He cradled it
Nurtured it
Until it became a weapon
Anger.
He let violence burn through him
And soon, the rest of us burned with him
Some nights
I dream about my mother
She stands in a burning house
Yet, she is frozen
In her eyes lie a thousand pictures Of a life she
never showed me
Always burning
Always being victim to somebody else's fire
My father's anger
made me violent
And all along I wished
for the warmth of my mother’s hands
I've never learned to let go of my grief I let it consume me
Let it's claws
Gently wrap around my throat
Never suffocating me
But enough so that I feel its presence
my grief
I let it spread like a wildfire
Across my body
Until every part of me burns away
And even the callousness of my mother's soft
hands
Would be enough to kill me
How did I become this
A girl so consumed in herself
She allowed
me the kindness
To burn in the fire
She made
To keep me warm
My father
never spoke about grief
He cradled it
Nurtured it
Until it became a weapon
Anger.
He let violence burn through him
And soon, the rest of us burned with him
Some nights
I dream about my mother
She stands in a burning house
Yet, she is frozen
In her eyes lie a thousand pictures Of a life she
never showed me
Always burning
Always being victim to somebody else's fire
My father's anger
made me violent
And all along I wished
for the warmth of my mother’s hands
I've never learned to let go of my grief I let it consume me
Let it's claws
Gently wrap around my throat
Never suffocating me
But enough so that I feel its presence
//
Lizbeth is a 16 year old living in Muscat, Oman. She has been writing since she was ten years old . Some of her muses include Lorde, Arundhati Roy, Little Simz and Mitski. She enjoys watching sunsets on the beach and creating awfully specific spotify playlists.
Lizbeth is a 16 year old living in Muscat, Oman. She has been writing since she was ten years old . Some of her muses include Lorde, Arundhati Roy, Little Simz and Mitski. She enjoys watching sunsets on the beach and creating awfully specific spotify playlists.