Second Hand
Emma Engler
Emma Engler
I hate feeling guilty all the time
Guilty for my own wrongs
Guilty for the wrongs of others
Guilty for the wrongs yet to come
A mother scholders a five year old in a craft store, I feel guilty
Not because the kid is causing a scene, but because it seems to me I’m responsible
I’m still trying to figure out why myself.
I’ve heard the term second hand embarrassment before
It makes a lot of sense to me, the concept not the reason why it happens
I suppose I’m the same way with a lot of emotions
I wouldn’t call myself and epmath as others might
I don’t feel everything
But it’s the guilt and embarrassment that comes and goes
Sometimes randomly in sharp bursts, mostly second hand
I get second hand everything
I used to get second hand clothing from these girls who lived down the street
Nothing ever fit properly, always too big and baggy
I don’t think I fit in my skin
I wish I could exchange at the store
Unfortunately you can’t do that, it’d be neat if you could
I think I’d pick out something less human
I’d rather be a frog.
I don’t want this to be a sad poem
There are too many of those already
But I guess writers tend to be sad, and they do say write what you know
I always feel guilty when I write
Like I’m going to paint the wrong picture of a person or place and someone will get angry
Maybe I’ll get angry at myself in twenty years when I see the picture I painted of myself
I suppose I’m just being honest
It is the best policy
There are better policies I can think of though.
I wish I didn’t feel pain
Not so much emotional just physical pain
I heard once that some people are born with messed up nerves and can’t feel pain
They have to go to the doctor often to make sure they didn’t break a bone and just not notice
I think that be neat
At least for a while
Now that I’m really thinking about it, that’s probably a real inconvenience
I guess feeling things is important
Even if they seem like a real inconvenience.
This is a poem about guilt if you haven't figured that out yet
I thought I should write more about personal experiences so here’s a frequent one of mine
Guilty for my own wrongs
Guilty for the wrongs of others
Guilty for the wrongs to come.
Guilty for my own wrongs
Guilty for the wrongs of others
Guilty for the wrongs yet to come
A mother scholders a five year old in a craft store, I feel guilty
Not because the kid is causing a scene, but because it seems to me I’m responsible
I’m still trying to figure out why myself.
I’ve heard the term second hand embarrassment before
It makes a lot of sense to me, the concept not the reason why it happens
I suppose I’m the same way with a lot of emotions
I wouldn’t call myself and epmath as others might
I don’t feel everything
But it’s the guilt and embarrassment that comes and goes
Sometimes randomly in sharp bursts, mostly second hand
I get second hand everything
I used to get second hand clothing from these girls who lived down the street
Nothing ever fit properly, always too big and baggy
I don’t think I fit in my skin
I wish I could exchange at the store
Unfortunately you can’t do that, it’d be neat if you could
I think I’d pick out something less human
I’d rather be a frog.
I don’t want this to be a sad poem
There are too many of those already
But I guess writers tend to be sad, and they do say write what you know
I always feel guilty when I write
Like I’m going to paint the wrong picture of a person or place and someone will get angry
Maybe I’ll get angry at myself in twenty years when I see the picture I painted of myself
I suppose I’m just being honest
It is the best policy
There are better policies I can think of though.
I wish I didn’t feel pain
Not so much emotional just physical pain
I heard once that some people are born with messed up nerves and can’t feel pain
They have to go to the doctor often to make sure they didn’t break a bone and just not notice
I think that be neat
At least for a while
Now that I’m really thinking about it, that’s probably a real inconvenience
I guess feeling things is important
Even if they seem like a real inconvenience.
This is a poem about guilt if you haven't figured that out yet
I thought I should write more about personal experiences so here’s a frequent one of mine
Guilty for my own wrongs
Guilty for the wrongs of others
Guilty for the wrongs to come.
//
Emma Engler is a junior at the Lehigh Valley Charter High School for the Arts, majoring in literary arts. They enjoy drawing and working on their many screenplays in their spare time, usually about happy frogs of Victorian skeletons. After high school, they hope to attend art school for illustration and go on to share their many colorful characters with the world.
Emma Engler is a junior at the Lehigh Valley Charter High School for the Arts, majoring in literary arts. They enjoy drawing and working on their many screenplays in their spare time, usually about happy frogs of Victorian skeletons. After high school, they hope to attend art school for illustration and go on to share their many colorful characters with the world.